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[sticky post] Jan. 8th, 2024

friends only but happy to add people, just drop me a line. I used to have filters but i got lazy and haven't posted anything on any of them in ages, if you're really interested at going back to find the NSFW/crazy stuff and you can't see it ask me to add you. I've got lazy with tagging too so the last year or two hasn't been tagged.

Mar. 10th, 2014

Finally something of note. Had a phone call from the woman handling my mandatory reconsideration (Vivian), she sounded nice, upbeat. She told me the addresses that I should send supporting information to (and told me that they're mail sorting system has just been re-jigged and that it's better to send it to both, so that will happen as soon as I’ve got all my proof together (been working on that for the last few weeks))

Fingers crossed she'll find in my favour and this mess will be over.
So today I had the usual joys of getting Soph out of the house, made slightly easier given that she was already awake, but harder because hat was due to her not sleeping at all last night, nevertheless we got out of the house, got change for the bus, walked to one bus stop to find road works, back tracked to a different one, caught our bus and made it into town.

As I got off the bus a tramp shouted at me that if I got any fatter I’d explode (kinda glad it was at me because Soph would have got even more paranoid if it had been even remotely at her)

Got to the jobcenter on time, to be told an appointment had been made upstairs, so out of the building and round to the other entrance we go. Three flights of stairs later we're in the right place. Lots of waiting around as per usual. Talked to to people, got the stuff sorted for the JSA claim, only to be told (once we get to the advisor who actually wants to hear our story rather than just take our details) that we should start an ESA claim in Soph's name because they're getting stricter and you need to be actually fit for work, or fit to look for work, which she really is not. So, we have the numbers to call to get that rolling. And the numbers to call if she gets denied ESA, and the legwork I’ve done already will at least speed up her claim for JSA. Oh, and they wont refund travel costs because we're in the application phase, so that's £7 we wont see again.

My next jobs (after tea and lunch) are to phone up and start her ESA claim while she (hopefully) rests a little.

I'll try and do another update when I've done that.

Fantastic news!

Just got a letter saying that my PIP claim has been successful, and I will be getting £53 a week, backdated to November 5th 2013 (15 weeks)

this is SUCH a help (and makes their denial of ESA even more ridiculous) nothing in the letter about when this money might get to me, so will have to keep an eye on the bank and wait and see. I just got through (you need 8 points of above and I got 8) no mobility component (which is odd, but I'm not going to contest it!) hopefully I'm still eligible for a bus pass though.

Wish they could have told me this when the CAB rang them yesterday, but there's probably some lingering identity protection on my file or something, either way this is a huge relief, putting in Soph's JSA application, followed by my own today.


ESA worker called Michael phoned me (and I was up and standing by with pen and paper to write things down this time)
the assessment date they're basing this off is the 18th November, so at least I know the PIP assessment WAS for PIP. And that gives me much more strength in insisting they have to have a record of my application.

He's sending out another copy of my report (the other may have been delayed or lost or just not got here yet, so I'll either end up with two, but hopefully with at least one)

he ran through the first few bits of the notes, but apparently they're long, but should be included in full in the report.

He mentioned that this supersedes the decision made in 2010, I have no idea what's happened to the assessments I’ve had in the intervening years.

Some of the points I missed out on were sitting and standing, the assessor saw me sit for 17mins and decided I didn't have to shift position very much, and so decided this meant I could sit and stand for an hour plus.

He described my movement as “fluid” and that I could reach above my head without difficulty (I can do it, but it hurts)

used the fact that I’m the person who does all the shopping against me (because apparently there's some magical other choice)

Overall I got zero points, which is ridiculous since I've been on this since 2010 and my health has steadily declined. He seemed surprised and thought I had good grounds to appeal, so hopefully that's a good sign.

He has filed the Mandatory Reconsideration Notice for me, today, so regardless of the date on the letter I should be within the time period and that should be OK. I should hear back about it within two weeks.

He agreed that while it's not the official line, they are recommending I apply for JSA in the mean time because the appeals process is so new not everything is worked out yet, and they're not sure how long it will take.

If my reconsideration is accepted they start paying me again at a reduced rate, while my appeal goes through, if it's not accepted I can still appeal but without pay.

But all in all it's at least looking better than it was yesterday, and I don't feel like I’m doing too bad running on only two hours sleep.
Today has been one hell of a day.
Got to sleep somewhere between half four and five after being unwell

woken up just before 9 by a phone call from the DWP saying that my claim for PIP had been denied and my ESA had been stopped effective from today. Because I mentioned I had an appointment with my A4E advisor this afternoon the didn't give me many more details. She gave me a couple of examples of why I’d been refused stating that my application said I struggled with stairs, but the assessor had reported I coped with them OK, and that in the form I said I struggled with sitting for an hour or more and needed assistance standing, and that the assessor hadn't found this (especially galling since at one point she actually had to help me to my feet during the assessment)

I had a panic and worry, vented online to a couple of friends and managed to grab an hours more sleep.

A4E appointment was less that five minutes, after I explained she told me to go at once to the citizens advice because they closed at 3, and she didn't know anything about this sort of thing to help me (because they're a separate company)

so, got to CAB, filled out their form, sat and waited, yes they could see me today.

Sat while Wendy called various people

ESA people say yes my benefits have been stopped, but PIP is handled by a different department
(ray of hope that they've stopped it because of my PIP claim)

quickly dashed because they have absolutely no record of my claim, despite posting me the form, acknowledging receipt of the form and sending an ATOS assessor to my house.

I have a month to appeal the decision on my ESA from the date they sent the letter which I haven't been sent. Hopefully it will turn up in the next day or two.

Wendy gave me the form to fill out to start an appeal, but kept arguing with me over the fact that it says, in bold, five times on the first page alone, that you must include your mandatory reconsideration notice or they will ignore your claim. Because I've had nothing from them in writing obviously I don’t have this. They say very clearly they will ignore any claim without this but she says to fill it in and send it to them recorded delivery anyway and then come back to CAB if/when they deny it. So that they can do a rapid reclaim notice with sick notes. Except I don't have sick notes from the last year because I was on yearly ATOS assessments because they'd declared me long term sick.
[some online research tells me you get a MRN if you ask them to reconsider their decision, something you have to do before you appeal, but CAB seemed convinced i should skip that step]

In the meantime I need to apply for JSA on my and my partners behalf, despite both of us being clearly unfit for work.
(she thought the job centre closed at 3, I thought 5, I was right, but No, I can't have a paper form, I have to do it online. )
[having looked at the JSA application it says I can't apply within a month of receiving ESA, but going to take CAB's advice and do it anyway]

the DWP were supposed to ring this afternoon, or before lunchtime tomorrow, to talk about why I was denied ESA, so I have to be ready with pen and paper to write that down, and keep insisting until they send me a copy in writing.

She thinks maybe they're getting around the “you must have written proof to appeal” by notifying me by phone, they arranged my assessment over the phone as well so I have no paper trail.

Quick timeline of events

13th Feb 2014 - phone call telling me PIP had been unsuccessful, and ESA was being cut off (I’m convinced she mentioned PIP while I was on the phone with her, but I had just been woken up)

20th Jan 2014 – at home ATOS assessment, ostensibly for PIP (CAB advisor thinks maybe this got filed as an ESA assessment, and that's what they're using as grounds to deny me, I KNOW that the woman who came to my house thought she was assessing me for PIP)

8th Jan 2014 – DWP/ATOS phoned me to book my assessment, again, they knew it was for PIP

21st Nov 2013 – posted PIP application

18th Nov 2013 – at home ATOS assessment for ESA (which I had no notice of see this entry)

24th Oct 2013 - diagnosed with Fibromyalgia

and now some perspective, today has been awful and it was still better than Tuesday night when we were repeatedly pushed past breaking point until we...broke. We ended up crying and screaming and kicking and having a tantrum basically, because we were non verbal and so frustrated and scared about not being able to get words out to make ourselves understood and not having enough control over the body because we were fighting (mainly because Jules keeps trying to pick up and carry on, and just Get Things Done and ignore that we're disabled. And that doesn't work anymore)

Monday we had the dentist and had two fillings, that was pretty OK, our dentist is a nice guy and at least it's over with.

Have managed to eat 2 cereal bars and two cups of tea today, have nearly vomited more times than I can count due to stress/anxiety. Holding off on taking diazepam because I took two on Tuesday.

So stressed about money, we've been spending way over budget on food, because I routinely don't have the energy to cook, so needing to buy ready meals. Better than having to throw food away or skipping even more meals but I guess I can't do that either now. Going to try and get JSA claims done tonight, time really is of the essence here. So tired and awful feeling though. Soph is asleep because she didn't sleep last night, house is still awful, but I have a desk in the living room so at least I have a little more space for myself.

Jun. 19th, 2013

Clara gto birthday money and we treated ourselves to BPAL imps on ebay. this is our first ever purchase of BPAL stuff (we recieved a bottle of shivering boy as a present xmas 2007 and loved it so much we've wanted more ever since) some of these i cant find any info on *anywhere* (like the black coconut which i love) but that was one of the imps that came free as an addition so not even sure if it *is* BPAL

the other one we got for free was Good Judy's Roxy Codone

my actual order was:

Eternal Nile - White Florals of the Nile, Blue Florals of the Nile, White Amber, Egyptian Musk, Egyptian Amber

Aswan Mango Tea - Mango Flesh, Egyptian Black Tea, Papaya Skin, French Green Cognac, White Pepper

Smenkhare - Oriental Amber, Nokturne, Agarwood, Guaicwood, Ho Wood, Labdanum, Black Pepper EO, Balsam Peru, White Frankincense, Amber Musk

Ozymandias - Royal Sweet Frankincense, Amber, Royal Amber Resin, White Pepper

Ra’s Mocha Eggnog (full, limited edition)-- Cacao Oil, Cocoa Oil, Sandalwood, Spiced Eggnog, Blue Vanilla

BPAL Juke Joint (taped label) - - bawdy, gleefully wicked and unruly scent: Kentucky Bourbon, sugar and a sprig of mint.

Bordello - The scent evokes images of velvet-lined Old West cathouses, tightly laced corsets, rustling petticoats and coquettish snarls of pleasure. Bawdy plum with amaretto, burgundy wine and black currant.

Morgause - A bouquet of five night-blooming flowers deepened by dusky violet, purple fruits and the barest breath of medieval incenses.

Leanan Sidhe – Her perfume is a crush of Irish herbs and flowers, Gaelic mists, and nighttime dew.

Violette Maret's White Swan (1/4 full, label oil marked, Limited edition)-- Creamy white musk, white tea, white rose essence, and white orange blossoms with the faintest hint of a disappearing mist.

Alice (full) - Curiouser and curiouser. Milk and honey with rose, carnation and bergamot.

The Obsidian Widow (80% full) - Pinot noir, dark myrrh, red sandalwood, black patchouli, night-blooming jasmine, and attar of rose.

Catherine (80% full) - Named for the ambitious, vengeful poisoner Catherine deMedici, who used perfumes to perform her dark deeds. A sinful blend of orange blossom, rosemary and rose... allegedly the exact perfume she utilzed in her work.

Amiable + Lovely Creatures (1/2 decant, Yule 2010) - honey and rosewater with fig, patchouli, night-blooming jasmine, and white almond

Fireflies (full, Limited Edition from Violette Market) Lydia's golden fireflies glowing among raw agave sugar crystals, toasted marshmallow creme, and a pinch of golden amber dust.

Antique Lace (SNIFFIE only but enough to have a sniff, discontinued) -- Nostalgia encapsulated. A soft, wistful blend of dry flowers, aged linens, and the faint breath of long-faded perfumes.

Nuit: dazzling white musks, white rose and night-blooming jasmine with the soft moss of moonlit meadows, a waft of Egyptian incense, and a gentle breath of moonflower.

Sundew: A carnivorous enchantress: diverse, lovely and graceful, emitting a sticky, glowing golden, sweet and terminally inviting scent. Its dew is believed to grant eternal beauty and longevity, and restore vitality and vigor to the magician.

Pannychis: Night-blooming jasmine, moonflower, cardamom, sandalwood, black currant, ylang ylang, frankincense and lily.

The Unicorn: A misty, almost luminous perfume: wispy linden blossoms, white flowers, and a touch of sweet herbs.

it's such a novelty to have so many perfumes to choose from! so far i've tried Black coconut (which i love, it's so summer night scented and gorgeous) Sundew (which i like, it started out a bit too cloying but mellowed) and Amiable + Lovely Creatures (which is nice and sweet and reminds me of walking into Lush)
urgh, hate the new post page

I posted this on Facebook

I need to say something about the Trans Day of Remembrance today. words are failing me but please people. Remember. hundreds of people die every year, through violence and senseless bigotry, by their own hand or by the hand of others. I don't want to live in that sort of world. I hope you don't either. Try to make a difference if you can.
Originally posted by gesundyke at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by rainflowermoon at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by miintikwa at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by heartbreakangel at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by atalantapendrag at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by ericadawn16 at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by hoperomantic at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by southrnbygrace at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by ultra_fic at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by jesco0307 at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by sheryden at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by meridian_rose at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by brontefanatic at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by philstar22 at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Originally posted by lk737 at All U.S. Internet Providers will be policing downloads by July 12, 2012
Please repost this? I have never begged for one of my posts to be boosted. I am just so worried for my friends and want you to know.

According to this article, dated March 15, 2012:

"File-sharers, beware: By July 12, major US Internet service providers (ISPs) will voluntarily begin serving as copyright police for the entertainment industry, according to Cary Sherman, chief executive of the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA). The so-called “six-strikes” plan is said to be one of the most effective anti-piracy efforts ever established in the US."

The article goes on to give details. After six notices, internet providers will decide to throttle a person's internet speed, or cut it off altogether. I don't know if they will crack down on torrents only, or if it is up to the internet provider. I get the sense it is up to the internet provider. So some people could get away with downloading non torrents, while others might get their internet service cut off. I urge you to click it and read, as we all know people who download.

No more downloading eps of your favorite shows for vidding, gifs, or fanfiction art. No more downloading screencaps possibly. I'm so sorry my friends. I don't even know if BT Guard will work to protect you, but I would google it if I were you. It is a professional service that supposedly can protect you from the invasive eyes of your internet provider.

Just, my friends, please make each other aware. Please be aware of the date JULY 12TH. Mark your calendar and double check with your internet provider by then. If you start receiving notices of downloaded activity, this is why. And your internet service could be throttled or cut off.

Fox news confirms this:

Youtube video explaining this:




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